An Appreciation by Noah Mallin

Estelle Getty, who donned a white wig to play Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls in the 1980s and practically stole the show from her three better known castmates, has died. Getty portrayed the mother of Bea Arthur’s character though in real life Arthur was actually older. Getty’s broad zinger fueled performance netted her seven Emmy noms and one win. In the long years before her Golden Girls success and her initial Broadway stardom in her 60s, she worked as a secretary to make ends meet. Getty has the distinction in starring in one of my prize Thanksgiving turkeys from last year with Sylvester Stallone, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.

The Golden Girls which in re-runs is one of the only watchable things on Lifetime was a proto- Sex in The City with frank talk about sex, relationships, and aging from a women’s perspective. Getty, who was integral to what made the show so funny was a genuine TV pioneer.

Leon Harris was always a cheery upbeat presence back when he was on CNN and he brings that same twinkle in the eye to his current gig at DC area station WJLA. Recently they unearthed the story of a Stafford, Virginia gentleman who was convicted of trolling cyberspace looking for teenage boys as sex partners. He does have a good excuse though. Seems he was molested as a youngster by a Bigfoot.

As most psychologists will tell you, those that have been molested by Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) at an impressionable age tend to be more likely to molest youngsters as adults. The folks at WJLA do get extra special credit for tracking down Bigfoot experts for comment.

Of all the characters on Gilligan’s Island who I could picture getting stoned, naive man-child Gilligan and sweet girl-next-door Mary-Anne are at the bottom of the list. Now the Professor sure, but mainly for experimental purposes. Ginger? Hell yeah, probably while partying with Bobby Kennedy. The Skipper not so much, he comes off as more of a boozer. The Howell’s? You know how the rich do it — pill-poppin’ all the way.

The point is that sweet Mary-Anne, or Dawn Wells as she’s known in the flash-forward we like to call real life, has been busted for driving around with weed in her car. She joins the late Bob “Gilligan” Denver who had his own run-ins with Johnny Law over the wacky tobacky.

Cool chick who graduated Tina Fey returned to her Saturday Night Live alma mater this weekend and just had to take a turn at the anchor desk. She used her spot to make a hilarious and impassioned plea on Hillary Clinton’s behalf. Her shootdowns of the anti-Hill arguments were pretty deft. For instance, on the criticism that she can’t “control” Bill and would have some kind of co-Presidency:
“That would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems,” going on to say that we need to make sure Starsky doesn’t talk to Hutch. It all led up to what she felt really turned people off: They think Hillary is a bitch. “Yeah she is!” she said gleefully, “So am I…so is this one..” she said gesturing towards Amy Poehler. “…bitches get things done!” She then ended with the rousing cry “Bitch is the new black!”

Added to the (not interminable and yet one note) opening sketch which skewered the press’ fascination for Obama and their disdain for La Clinton the show is sporting a refreshing against the grain Clinton bias.

The little dumb asses at NBC Universal in their infinite non-wisdom continue to embargo their material from sites like YouTube (despite the huge boost it has given SNL) so unfortunately I’ve embedded their inferior, NBC approved java-based player clip here:

In a conundrum worthy of his previous TV show Arrested Development, Will Arnett has had to drop the role of the voice of the talking car KITT on the new version of NBC’s 80s cheesefest Knight Rider. The role will now be taken by Val Kilmer (!), himself no stranger to the 80s and/or cheese.

It turns out Arnett’s automotive vocal talents were already spoken for — by General Motor’s GMC Trucks division. With Knight Rider now aligned with Ford (KITT is a Mustang now — Pontiac no longer makes the Trans Am) it wouldn’t do to have Arnett’s distinct gravelly tones adorn a product with a competitor’s logo.

Arnett had already wrapped his work on Knight Rider.

How’s Kilmer’s Voice? This cheesy, 80s scene from the underappreciated Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker comedy Top Secret has the answer:

Also, here’s the intro for the original Knight Rider…in German! Dig the Nietzscheian sound of “…ein auto, ein komputer, ein mann…” And yes, series creator Glen A. Larson’s theme song is one of the best TV themes ever. As friend-of-the-blog Joni pointed out, with this voiceover it sounds like a Kraftwerk song!

Attuned as we at POSAS are to all things Shield related I was especially interested in this post from Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood Daily blog. In it The Shield creator/producer/ writer Shawn Ryan explains why his fellow showrunners (those writer/producers who oversee quality delivery of each episode of a program) should honor the strike and not try to find ways around it. Finke prints the entirety of his e-mailed plea which includes the high stakes for Ryan personally: Missing out on both the finale episode of his signature show, The Shield, and the pilot episode of his new show The Oaks. Here’s his whole letter:

“As you all know by now, we are on Strike. It’s sad that we have arrived here and I don’t know each and every one of your opinions, but I wanted to share my personal plans for what I intend to do until we have a fair contract.

I am currently quoted in today’s Hollywood Reporter as saying that I will do some producing work, but won’t do any editing as I consider that to be writing. While I said something similar to that earlier last week (I’ve learned you can’t trust a word of what these trades report), that was before I went to the Showrunners Meeting yesterday and became very crystalized in what I need to do. Like many of you I have spent the last week contemplating what to do in case of a strike. What are my responsibilities to my writers, my cast, my crew, my network and my contract? How do I balance these various concerns?

At the Showrunners Meeting it became very clear to me that the only thing I can do as a showrunner is to do nothing. I obviously will not write on my shows. But I also will not edit, I will not cast, I will not look at location photos, I will not get on the phone with the network and studio, I will not prep directors, I will not review mixes. These are all acts that are about the writing of the show or protecting the writing of the show, and as such, I will not participate in them. I will also not ask any of my writer/producers to do any of these things for me, so that they get done, but I can save face.

I will not go into the office and I will not do any work at home. I will be on the picket line or I will be working with the Negotiating Committee. I will not have an avid sent to my house, or to a new office so that I can do work on my show and act as if it is all right because I’m not crossing any picket lines.

I truly believe that the best and fastest way to a good contract is to hit these companies early, to hit them hard and to deprive them of ALL the work we do on their behalf.
How do we ask our staff writers to go out on strike as we continue collecting producer checks? How do we ask the Teamsters to respect our picket lines if we won’t ourselves or if we’re sneaking around to do the work off-site?

Just so you all know what I am prepared to give up….

Tomorrow, we begin to film the Series Finale of The Shield. I think it’s the best script our writing staff has ever written. This is the show that made me. This is the show that is my baby. If the strike goes on longer than two weeks, I won’t be able to step on set for the final episode of the show. I won’t have a writer on set, as I have had on every episode since the fourth episode. I won’t be able to edit this final culminating episode. I won’t go to the wrap party that Fox TV and FX are paying for. You can’t tell me that any episode of television is more important than this one is to me, and I am ready to forego all those things in order to strengthen my union.
Tomorrow, we begin filming a new pilot, The Oaks, that I am Executive Producing. It’s an amazing script that David Schulner wrote and I signed up to help him make this show. Until we have a fair deal I cannot do that now and it kills me.

We are currently filming Season 3 of The Unit, a show that does fairly well, but against House and Dancing With The Stars, usually finishes in 3rd place. We have no guarantee that we will back for a 4th season. I just gave a director friend of mine his first TV directing gig. I’d like to see him succeed. He’ll have to finish the show on his own now without a writer on set, or my help in the editing room.

Some people have made the argument that if they don’t do this producing work or this editing, that someone else will do it, and this act won’t hurt the companies. I respectfully disagree. If we ALL stop ALL work tomorrow, the impact of this strike will be felt much more quickly, much more acutely and it most likely will end sooner, putting our writers, our cast and our crews back to work sooner!

I spent nearly 12 hours today in the Negotiation Room with the companies. I watched our side desperately try to make a deal. We gave up our request to increase revenue on DVD’s, something that was very painful to give up, but something we felt we had to in order to get a deal made in new media, which is our future.

I watched as the company’s representatives treated us horrendously, disrespectfully, and then walked out on us at 9:30 and then lied to the trades, claiming we had broken off negotiations.
I can’t in good conscience fight these bastards with one hand, while operating an avid with the other. I am on strike and I am not working for them. PERIOD.

You will use your own instincts and consciences to decide your own actions. But if you would like to follow in my footsteps (and those of many, many others who made this pledge at the showrunner’s meating on Saturday), I encourage you to sign the trade ad that the WGA will be putting out on Tuesday by the dozens and dozens of showrunners who will simply not work at all beginning in the morning.”